Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Marriage Material?

Today's the 4th of July, the day when the United States of America celebrates its independence from the tyrannical clutches of the English monarchy (funny how we crave/celebrate all things British these days...mmmmmmmm Idris Elba...yum). Of course, you know this day not boasts the beautiful bursts of brilliants balls of light across a night sky and unending American flag waving, but it's also filled with familial moments, food, and beachy fun.

As I drove from the family festivities at the beach, a picture flashed in my mind of all the non-blood family members that were there. My family is predominately male with a smattering of females throughout. Now all the males of my generation who were present today were all there with their long-time lady friends (in the case of one, his wife). Every single one of them. But here's what's interesting to note: none of the females of my generation were there with their male friend (no one's married).

I got to thinking about all the females in my family of my generation, present or not, and I came to the startling realization that none of us really have anyone. We're all pretty single with no marriage prospects. It doesn't matter if we are 39 or 29, we are all single (well, the youngest, who's 20, has a boyfriend but she doesn't really count in my generation). All, yes ALL, of our male counterparts are coupled up in long-term relationships (girlfriends for years or wives).

Why is that?

It's really disturbing to think about. Could it be that growing up in a predominately male family ruined us be hipping us to all the preposterous games men play? That we have become a little male-like in our own way? That we're too independent because we don't really want men like the men of our family (mostly players) and that's pretty much what exists out here in Miami? All of us have our own place, car, and paying job. All of us can take care of ourself.

But, honestly, I don't want to be single. I know I'm very independent, ambitious, driven, and a little unfeminine (I loathe flowers, pink, and compliments). But, according to a very in depth psych analysis I had to do back in November for a reality show, I'm the typical woman in that I want someone to take care of me (also, according to this exam, I have a teensy weensy problem with authority). I like having the choice of being independent but I'm tired of having to make all the decisions. I wouldn't mind a 55/45 relationship (okay, okay 60/40). I want a man who's a man. I need a father dad for my boys and a lover/partner for me. Why is that so hard to find?

I'm starting to worry that, maybe, I'm just not marriage material.


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