Saturday, May 12, 2012

Think Like a Man

Finally saw Think Like a Man, a movie based off of Steve Harvey's book of a similar name, with my mom today (the company is one reason I'm glad the sex scenes in this movie were very PG). I tried to read the book but didn't get pass the first chapter so I expected Kevin Hart to be the funniest part about the movie; I expected this to be like every black movie that crams every named black actor into the film; I expected it to be bad.

I'm glad it wasn't.

Maybe it was one big commercial for the book and a little too fairytale-ish with all its happy endings-- at least, one person could have gotten left out in the cold. But I appreciated that, not only was there happiness, all the characters grew and became better people. If only life was that way.

My ex only got out of this film that men, who are not where they want to be (or have nothing to show for their life), are right to break up with their mate (his reasoning for why we're no longer together). What he missed was that the men in the movie went out of their way to work on improving themselves-- at first for the women, but, ultimately, for themselves. So, I guess, it's a good thing that he is my ex because I need positivity.

I keep trying to compare myself to Taraji's character (don't remember the name) and her situation with Michael Ealy's character (again, don't remember the name-- guess there were too many characters. I only remember Meagan Good's Mya because it was said over and over and over again, plus it was written on a card). But there's, literally, no comparison. Michael's character had not only a dream and potential, he, also, had a skill-- he could cook. I have NO idea what my ex's skill was/is, even after nearly a year of dating. I had asked him about his goals but they were so vague and he was making no moves toward them (probably because they were so vague) so I had a hard time envisioning his future, let alone one that involved us.

But, apparently, he made the comparison between Taraji's and Michael's character to us. He said that I had everything: a stable job for 7 years (granted it never made me happy but I have responsibilities [READ: children] to take care of), a car (have only been without one for 6 months in my whole 15 years of driving), and a place (that I think is, literally, making my children and I sick). Yes, compared to him, I do have everything-- except support, love, and companionship. We, humans, are geared towards companionship. I may have been okay with being single before but that was because I never thought I would find anyone who loved me, who would bother to try to get/understand me, who wasn't intimidated by my intelligence, who could help me achieve my dreams and wouldn't think them silly, who I could build a life with. I was content being single because I thought I had to be content and single.

Now I know better. How I wish I didn't. 

Not only that, but Taraji was happy and successful with her career. She was accomplished. I'm really not. Now I know, had I reached the level of success I dream about, I would have been much like her character because I kinda have the same standards myself, which is why it took me a while to even fall for my ex in the first place. That whole no-degree-hourly-job-having-Chevy box car-driving-living-with-his-parents thing was a REAL turn-off (given my face as I type this, it still is-- especially the Chevy, ugh).

Given my current level of (un)success in the career field (I don't want to be just a teacher) and the fact that all I have, at this time, is a bachelor's degree, I don't think that section of Steve Harvey's book applies to me. But, I do already think like a man; I was raised around nothing but boys. So I think it's the act like a lady part that may be more beneficial for me. But I'll give the book a real chance to see if there is any help for me because, let's face it, I need better and I need it soon. I've got two children who have NEVER had a strong male figure in their life, though, they have had male relatives around. They need a dad and I would really like to meet and have a forever-love.

Sigh. Is it even possible?


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