Monday, March 19, 2012

Broken Frame of Mind


I don't want to be here right now. Yes, here. School. Work. Whatever.

I want to sleep, to snuggle back beneath my comforter and release my mind to dreams because being awake right now is not the haps.

I'm bummed, sad, disconsolate (to use one of my students' vocabulary words), and, well, depressed. Yes, depressed.

It all came crashing down on me this morning, how much has happened, how truly scared I've been, afraid of what more life was/is going to throw at me. I can no longer stand. My shoulders scrape the ground. Saline saturates my face. I can't do it anymore and that's why I need to move out of the driver's seat, why I need to just heed God's words and give him the wheel. I'm giving in to my faith.

In the meantime, I'm going to have to make a therapy appointment. One should do it. All I need is to just talk aloud unimpeded with someone who knows nothing about and "cares" nothing for me.


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