Back to School

All those 1st day of school posts on Facebook page are giving me cramps. I'm trying to be all, "Oh, how sweet" but, in a shadowed corner of my mind, there's a shriveled up woman, clutching a bottle of wine with one hand, throwing once-bitten apples with the other, shrieking, "I don't wanna go back there". 

Yep, my teaching days are numbered. Just gotta get through the next 1-2 years. If I don't get out by then, I might as well stay and do another 10 years or dance in an electric storm wearing nothing but aluminum foil or place a cyanide pill in my mouth during the opening-of-school meeting or donate my body to the National Federation of Fat Teachers Who Have Finally Had Enough or-- you get the point. 

I'm getting depressed just thinking about the upcoming school year. I gotta prepare my kids for the PSAT, SAT, ACT, PERT (I'm teaching 11th and 12th), FCAT (9th grade is on the computer this year), district assessments, and AP exams (Lang & Lit). When do I get to teach? Plus, in order to score high on my teacher evaluation, I have to plan field trips, bring in speakers, and compete in contests. Oh, yeah, and I have to help my 11th & 12th grade students prepare college essays, all while completing recommendation letters. I think I'm breaking out in hives just thinking about it.