My philosophy of learning

Honestly, I never gave much thought to whether or not I had a philosophy of learning. I just learned and I feel like almost anyone is capable of learning. I guess you could say that thought emerged thanks to one of my high school classmates, a girl who was completely blind and who read all of her books by braille. This girl was in my Advanced Placement classes and graduated in the top 10% with me (actually higher than me because she was a good student; I was not). She, also, was accepted and attended the same prestigious university I attended, the University of Miami. That she was gifted with a pure and crystal-clear singing voice (I was not) was just icing on top of an already-generously iced cake.

I wasn’t aware of it then but she taught me something about imagined limitations. And when I look around, I see the results of this invisible bondage—people shackled by their dreams deferred, imprisoned by the mere act of settling and their minimally-paying hourly jobs. I suppose, my philosophy of learning is, also, that education is simply the key to unlocking doors, which stand otherwise shut. So I push and push those around me to go back for their education, even if it means incurring a small amount of debt. There’s no point to dreaming if you refuse to take action when you’re awake.

Radical Teacher on the Loose

I wish I could do as my action research capstone project  along the lines of "the fight against standardized testing and the dumbing down of america's youth". I realize, I really am a radical in this thing called teaching. Today, when we talked about static and dynamic characters, I brought it all the way down to my 9th graders level of understanding-- I dragged in the fish movie. That's right, FINDING NEMO. :) I also managed to bring them closer to the surface of my thinking. By the time we were finished with that movie, they realized that story is just as deep as the Big Blue and has just as many surprises too. I'm finding that the harder these politicians and public education killers fight to strangle creativity of thought, the harder I fight back. Oh, I read the assigned stories and I talk about the skill that's there but I don't leave it as just that story. I drag in allusions to all the other stories read so far, having the kids make connections across the board. I fill their head with movies and news stories that match what I'm talking about. I haven't written a lesson plan since 2005-- yes, the year I began teaching because I realized that shyt doesn't vibe with who I am. Planning sucks the life out of living. Thank goodness for pre-made pacing guides.

Uninvited Passenger

While driving home on Old Cutler today, a green lizard fell into my car, landing near the window where my arm had been not even thirty seconds earlier. He stared at me, unblinking, obviously waiting for me to invite him in. 

When it finally registered in my mind that this was a real reptilian being joyriding on my car, my brain scrambled for a course of action. I tried waving him back out the window but he must have mistook my hand movements for the expected invitation because he crawled across my dashboard and settled just over the passenger seat. 

So I grabbed an umbrella to make sure he perceived my next actions as the threat they were intended to be. He got the message and, instead of aiming for the open window, he jumped to the floor of the car and I lost sight of him. 

For twenty minutes, I drove with absolute paranoia, the slightest movement of anything against my foot caused me to flinch, draw up my legs, and clutch the steering wheel in a death grip while barely swallowing the scream that longed to erupt from my throat. 

Finally, I pulled up to the school to pick up my son and swung open the door. There was the stowaway, blended an ugly brown, on the side of the seat. A quick jab with the umbrella preceded his hasty departure. I guess it was his stop. 

I should have asked for gas money.

QoMV

I Want On This List

The website CELEBRITY NET WORTH recently put out a list, showing the top 25 WEALTHIEST Black female actresses. Here is the list:

The 25 Richest Black Actresses:

• #1: Janet Jackson Net Worth – $150 Million
• #2: Halle Berry Net Worth – $70 million
• #3: Queen Latifah Net Worth – $50 million
• #4: Whoopi Goldberg Net Worth – $45 million
• #5: Raven-Symone Net Worth – $45 million
• #6: Angela Bassett Net Worth – $28 million
• #7: Vanessa Williams Net Worth – $27.5 million
• #8: Jada Pinkett-Smith Net Worth – $20 million
• #9: Thandie Newton Net Worth – $17.5 million
• #10: Rosario Dawson Net Worth – $16 million
• #11: Nia Long Net Worth – $13 million
• #12: Gabrielle Union Net Worth – $12 million
• #13: Brandy Norwood – Net Worth – $12 Million
• #14: Regina King Net Worth – $10 million
• #15: Loretta Devine Net Worth – $8 million
• #16: Zoe Saldana Net Worth – $8 million
• #17: Tia & Tamera Mowry Net Worth – $8 million (combined)
• #18: Taraji P. Henson Net Worth – $6 million
• #19: Garcelle Beauvais Net Worth – $6 million
• #20: Rashida Jones Net Worth – $5 million
• #21: Sanaa Lathan Net Worth – $4 million
• #22: Viola Davis Net Worth – $3 million
• #23: Paula Patton Net Worth – $3 million
• #24: Tracee Ellis Ross Net Worth – $2.5 million
• #25: Lauren London Net Worth – $2 million
• Bonus: Oprah Winfrey Net Worth – $2.7 Billion (hover me right around this Oprah number)

Feeling Satisfied

It just occurred to me that I have a very fulfilling life with the people I have in it.

I cut out a lot of people over the last few years, the hardest cuts of all this year, and I thought I would miss them. I did in the beginning. But, now, I'm finding my life richer.

I'm no longer drained by people who just take, take, take my time, my money, or myself for granted. I'm no longer bothered by people who call me their best friend but either steal from me, compete with me, or don't include me in anything but their problems. I'm no longer hurt by family who chose friends during a time when family mattered most.

I may have a couple of more cuts to do on Facebook (I'm watching and waiting) but I'm satisfied with my circle, very deeply satisfied. Those around me push themselves (and me) to be better. They don't settle. They not only want something out of life; they're working to get it. Welcome to 33, girlfriend. Thank you. Glad to be here.

QoMV

(Un)Deserving?

About a month ago, I wrote about how bothered I was by the use of the word "deserving" in The Biggest Loser's search for season 14's cast. I read elsewhere that "BL said they wanted contestants that needed, and were due for, a break…."

Really?

If they actually watched to the end of my original video (and they didn't), they definitely would have seen that I'm a person who sorely needs a break. I can't share why because it's not completely my story to tell. All I know is, just when I think I've hit bottom and I'm, finally, starting to see a way out, a sinkhole opens up. I've been hit financially, physically, emotionally, maternally, externally, internally, mentally over for a very long while but, this year, my tolerance for pain was tried and stretched.

This year, even the warden of Hell shook his head in pity and asked me what I was doing time for. This year, I've cried more tears than the cumulative number of tears I've shed in the years before. This year, I've written and performed speeches about failure, blogged about failure, talked to my students about failure-- all while wading neck deep in the stuff; I felt like a failure as a person, as a woman, as a mother. This year, I thought about something I hadn't thought about since I was sixteen.

This year, being a teacher went from being the bane of my existence to being a large reason for my continued existence.

Having something to get up for everyday just so that I could continue to provide for my children was quite the unexpected lifesaver. But needing one propelled me to seek out a therapist for myself because the things happening in my life and the life of my son were just too much to handle alone and friends had no idea how to help-- it's just that big.

Thankfully, I know trouble doesn't last always and death can be a permanent mistake.

I smile, laugh, and joke about the complexities of life. I have to because every step I take forward finds me flying a few feet back. Even the therapist was in awe of how I'm still standing with the number of hits I take/have taken. I have to stand strong because I have children; I can't let them see the cracks in my shell. So I sit in my car, shed tears, and talk to God.

Yeah, I would say I'm someone who could, definitely, use a break.

QoMV

Job Wisdom I Have Now That I Wish I Knew Then

Dear young people with jobs,

Here are a few nuggets of wisdom you need to carry with you:

1) show up to work every day

2) show up to work ON TIME every day

3) treat every day like a learning experience (because it is)

4) volunteer to do something that is not part of your job description

5) go in to work with a GOOD attitude

6) remember your employers don't need you and don't owe you anything

7) make sure you're valuable enough to be considered irreplaceable

8) don't be a kiss-ass

9) pick your boss's brain

Great quotes about work

10) don't lose yourself in a job

11) move on when there is nothing new to learn

12) don't burn bridges b/c life has a way of humbling you; the people you see now may be the people you'll meet later

13) don't allow yourself to be treated as less than you are

14) dress for success (that means shower every day-- yes, there was a person at work who could have used this advice, a post-it note on his office door, or a soap and rag left on his office chair).

15) NETWORK! Don't be anti-social

16) DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING: every meeting, every praise, every accolade, every email. Paper trails are important in business.

17) there's no substitute for experience; find internships, apprenticeships, or part/full-time jobs with titles that can take you to the next level

18) never stop learning; if you ever have a thought of being a director or a head honcho, get your masters

19) a mental health day at the beach is a good way to keep the balance

20) remember to leave time for your friends.

***~***~***
Additional wisdom from my Facebook friends:

21) If you think you deserve a raise, ask for it and back it up with good reasons (see #16); the worst that could happen is being told no.  ~Thanks, Tq.

22) Never post anything negative about your job or anything incriminating on social networking sites ~Thanks, Leslie.

23) Leave your emotions at home; they have no business in the workplace. (see #19) ~Thanks, Jill.

24) Work hard but have a life outside of the job so that you don't burn out. (see #10 & 20) ~Thanks, again, Tq.

Do you other 30 and older people have any other advice? Yeah, I know I just asked a question at the end of my blog post. Whatevs. Go ahead and comment below.

QoMV