Wednesday, August 8, 2012

World Listen Up


Another essay for another 'ship:

I stepped to the podium, palms sweating, throat constricting, tongue drying, cumbersome in a mouth that’s suddenly parched. As I looked at the crowd of fresh-faced high school seniors, fidgeting with their caps, eager to hear the words beginning this first of many momentous occasions in their life, my mind raced, tripping over the lines to the speech I was to give.

I was asked to open this ceremony via a student-generated online petition. Apparently, the few pieces of fictional fodder I had written were popular enough with the young adult set to temporarily label me as “cool” (something I was not during my own high school years) and to warrant the press’s presence as evidenced by the cameras trained on my face.

The pressure was on to say something as “cool” and entertaining as the black scribbles across their e-reader screen. I wrestled for a fortnight, tossing out ideas, copying, pasting, and rearranging my thoughts on my computer, trying to force sense on the nonsensical, to share a life lesson the kids can carry with them in the 140-character restricted format in which they think.

But life doesn’t make sense; sometimes-- most times, the good loses and the bad wins—initially. Like any good book, life is filled with unexpected plot twists, brilliant antagonists, and, seemingly, unending struggle.  But, also, like any good book, those trials are there for character building.

And, just like that, I knew what to say: “You are the author of your own life.”

Essay Schmessay

Here's an essay I submitted for a 'ship (gotta pay for school somehow). Hope it makes you laugh as that was the point.

I remember the sides being muuuuch lower;
this may not be the same slide.

Florida is known for its beautiful beaches, boys, and bikini babes. Well, my story contains none of those. It’s about the time my slightly pudgy seventeen-year-old self allowed two classmates to pressure her into boldly (foolishly) donning her first bikini and climbing up the tallest water slide located in one of Orlando’s water parks.

As I transcended the Babylonian stairs, I saw disapproval in the birds’ eyes as they flew by me. Shame draped my body and, once at the top, fear congealed my blood. My feet rooted to the platform; my ears heard only the muffled instructions from the ride attendant.

Instruction one: cross your arms, cross your legs. Two: you will feel nothing beneath you for four seconds. Three: do not uncross your arms or legs. There were no guardrails attached to this slide; a wrong move could mean death.

I lay down, crossed my legs and my arms, closed my eyes and sent up frantic prayers, “Dear God, make me a bird so I could fly far, far away…”

Rough hands pushed against my shoulders. I felt the slide give away to…nothing. Panicked, my arms flailed; my legs uncrossed. After what seemed like eons, my back crashed onto the hard wet surface of the slide and I jetted down the watery chute, water painfully shooting up the exit orifice of my body.

At the bottom, I opened my eyes to the sight of my girls out of my bikini top and a tourist’s camcorder in my face.

Going to Full Sail University!


Ok, just got the phone call and it's official: I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL (as a student myself)! Yay! With a $12k scholarship! Yay! And the possibility of another $3k after my first year. Double yay! First step to leaving the teaching profession: getting my master's degree. BIG SMILE over here.

I'm really excited (and a little worried). Can't wait to begin.

QoMV

Snake Dream

Just dreamed of a random dude at my mom's yard sale picking up a large green snake and stuffing it in his mouth. Then when I tried to hurry by him, he was pulling it out of his mouth to throw at me. I jumped awake really quick before it could land. 

A snake dream = betrayal/false friends. This is a warning to me and let it be a warning to whomever it is who calls me a friend but who intends to hurt me either with their words/gossip/actions. Don't. 

People who hurt me pretty quickly see their lives take a downward turn. God said, "Do my anointed no harm", promised "no weapons formed shall prosper", and assured me He will "smite mine enemies". So if that dreams was about you, I'm not the only one who has been warned. Have a great day. I got another hour of sleep to find.

My other two dreams were: I dropped my iPhone (putting my case on it today) and my son had most of his room cleaned and needed help (will do that today). Then I had this snake one-- it was stupid and random up until that point.

Back to School

All those 1st day of school posts on Facebook page are giving me cramps. I'm trying to be all, "Oh, how sweet" but, in a shadowed corner of my mind, there's a shriveled up woman, clutching a bottle of wine with one hand, throwing once-bitten apples with the other, shrieking, "I don't wanna go back there". 

Yep, my teaching days are numbered. Just gotta get through the next 1-2 years. If I don't get out by then, I might as well stay and do another 10 years or dance in an electric storm wearing nothing but aluminum foil or place a cyanide pill in my mouth during the opening-of-school meeting or donate my body to the National Federation of Fat Teachers Who Have Finally Had Enough or-- you get the point. 

I'm getting depressed just thinking about the upcoming school year. I gotta prepare my kids for the PSAT, SAT, ACT, PERT (I'm teaching 11th and 12th), FCAT (9th grade is on the computer this year), district assessments, and AP exams (Lang & Lit). When do I get to teach? Plus, in order to score high on my teacher evaluation, I have to plan field trips, bring in speakers, and compete in contests. Oh, yeah, and I have to help my 11th & 12th grade students prepare college essays, all while completing recommendation letters. I think I'm breaking out in hives just thinking about it.

QoMV-ism

My original -ism: Once you come through a lot of personal darkness, you want to spend forever dancing in the light, even in the rain, for that matter, because it means, at least, you’re being watered for growth. 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dear Young One

Dear young one,

Please take care of your body and your mind. The jobs will wait; your education can't. Enjoy your summers and your friends. Cherish the moments when your biggest stressors are passing all your final exams, not paying all your bills (on time). Avoid the credit cards and, if you can't, only take one, spending only what you can/WILL pay off at the end of every month. Technology changes, only invest in it if it's in the form of stocks. Otherwise, materially speaking, everything today will be outdated tomorrow. Go for quality instead of quantity. Take pictures, not of yourself but of your moments. Remember, today is always here and tomorrow never comes. YOLO is not just a catchy phrase over a groovy beat but the truth. A friend is not just a title on Facebook; cut off your computer/laptop/cell phone device and get some. "Yes" is not a word everyone deserves; neither is "no". Figure out on who and when to use them. You are just as good, if not better, than the next person. Live with these things in mind and you'll be just fine.

Love, 

Your older self
(QoMV)

Just some things I got flitting through my mind. What other words of wisdom would you share with your younger self? Take the challenge and write that letter.