I love Ursula, the sea witch from Disney's The Little Mermaid. I totally heart her. She's badass, a little crass, witty, determined, persistent, go-getting, devoted to her cause, opportunistic, comfortable with her body and, in that, she's sexy, confident, wise, powerful, dominant, and a whole host of negative words (the likes of which you can find here). But only a few of those words outline why I love her: comfortable, confident, and determined, very determined.
I was very uncomfortable with myself (at the top of 2008, I weighed 271lbs) until I made my 2nd Biggest Loser audition tape, on which I talked about my love of Ursula, using the aforementioned adjectives. Now, I always knew that her song, Poor Unfortunate Souls, was my favorite (right next to Kiss de Girl) but I never actually thought about why. I chalked it up to my love of villains and, come to think of it, they're all pretty much badass-- Scar, Jafar, etc. But Ursula's the only big girl in the bunch. Finally, I saw someone like me on the screen who wasn't for laughs unlike Nell Carter (still liked watching Gimme a Break). This woman had a purpose other than tickling an audience's funny bone and she was almost as important (if not as important) as Ariel, the protagonist. Ursula was not an afterthought. She was part of the main event. And I liked that. I REALLY liked that. Still do.
So after I talked about her, I became a little obsessed. A student bought me an Ursula mug from Disney World because I talked about her so much (doesn't hurt that Ursula is purple, one of my favorite colors *purple, green, and black*). Another student brought me a stuffed Ursula doll. I loved it so much, I took it to Europe with me (I would have posted a picture if my external hard drive didn't break-- might be able to find one on my PC, though) and lost her in Rome after we viewed the Vatican & the Sistine Chapel together. I miss my little buddy. My friend (funny, the number of ex-students I have that I count as friends) made me an Ursula shirt for another Biggest Loser audition with the word Ursula on the back and the shell necklace right beneath it. My current students are making customized class shirts and I bought one. They're putting something similar to the other shirt on the back of that one.
I can only wish I could exude as much sex appeal, power, and confidence as her. There's definitely no self-esteem issue there. She would not let her shoulders droop from a little, well, a lotta trouble. She would not spend evenings crying over things she could not change. She wouldn't beg for signs, direction, ANYTHING to tell her what to do next. No, she'd just find another way to tackle the problem, to get what she wants.
I could really use a little Ursula these days.
QoMV
Below, you'll find my own little rendition of Poor Unfortunate Souls. I was having a little fun with my first Macbook. Ah, those were the days. Enjoy! =)
See how being Ursula just makes you want to ooze sexy and confident out through your pores? I would really love to be her for Halloween but I don't think I would wear all that make-up that this chick has on (I sweat profusely when I'm hot and, in Miami, I'm guaranteed to be hot).
I deactivated my Facebook account this week so I could spend more time on here writing and more time out there living. That was Monday. This is Thursday. Nope, not true as it is 12:34AM, which means it is Friday. I haven't written anything in days (though, looking at the archive tool bar on the right, I'm only 4 entries away from beating my total number of entries last year-- hoorah). Oh, I've written plenty in my head, planned the intros to numerous blogs buuuut I never actually sat down. And, now, I don't remember what I want to talk about in this one.
Ok, so the same night I deactivated my Facebook, I received a phone call asking me to drive my friend (let's call him Dylan) to Disney World for an cruise line audition. Disney is technically a four-hour drive away. As I've stated on a couple of other blogs, I'm tired; I've been looking forward to this do-nothing week of vacation for weeks (I don't have to remind you how hard and mentally/emotionally taxing this year has been so far). I needed the time for bonding with my youngest child (my oldest skipped out at first opportunity), for putting my apartment back to right so it could stop looking like a cyclone ran through each room, and for me time-- maybe a little book reading or catching up on dvr'd shows and, definitely, a lot of sleep. So I declined to make that trip. And I felt good declining.
Tuesday, had a little bonding time, got a couple of rooms semi-cleaned, watched a show, then I started crying again, thinking about everything and missing dude. Then the phone rang. It was that friend again. He could not find another ride and would I please, please do it-- he'll pay for gas and toll and entrance tickets for me and my son. Please, please, pretty please. Ugh. I wanted to be a friend but I, also, wanted my vacation. On the other hand, I needed to get out of the house. Being alone only reinforced that I was alone and crying myself to sleep every night wasn't my ideal vacation. So I agreed. My son had cleaned his room and the living room so it would be a treat to him.
That night, I only got three hours of sleep before hitting the road so I wasn't in the best of moods. In fact, I made everyone stay silent until I mentally woke up about three hours later (I don't drink coffee). My friend auditioned, got back mixed news, and we were off to enjoy the magical world of Disney.
The annoying excitement of my friend and my child was infectious and my sour mood lifted once I quenched my thirst (I was sweating so much like a stuck pig, I think I was dehydrating) and got on the first ride. I even took pictures, which is something I don't do. But, I guess a new haircut, a cute shirt, and sheer determination to have a good time does something to the brain.
And, maybe, it was the cleavage, but this homegirl got a lot of male attention yesterday. Talk about ego booster. I even felt my sexy returning as I walked, that is, until I started limping. Maybe overdid it a bit with the whole walk a theme park a few times thing. I'm just starting to get back into fitness after letting my foot heal (hope I didn't set it back; I put some Aspercreme on it just in case).
I, also, saw a lot of couples of all ages/races/ethnicities/heights/girths/etc so there were a few times that I felt the familiar sting at the edge of my lower eye lids. But my tears didn't put a damper on the day. My kid had a blast; he was my kid again-- not some smart-mouthed troubled child. He was just so happy. And I wouldn't have traded that day we had for anything, except to have gone back in time so that there were more of those kinds of memories instead of the kind that have me crying even now just thinking about them.
I'm glad I said yes to the trip. I'm glad I got out of the house. I glad I got to spend a day with my youngest in his favorite place on Earth with most of the expenses paid. I got to be just mommy, not the disciplinarian. And that felt pretty damn good.
I love Ursula, the sea witch from Disney's The Little Mermaid. I totally heart her. She's badass, a little crass, witty, determined, persistent, go-getting, devoted to her cause, opportunistic, comfortable with her body and, in that, she's sexy, confident, wise, powerful, dominant, and a whole host of negative words (the likes of which you can find here). But only a few of those words outline why I love her: comfortable, confident, and determined, very determined.
So after I talked about her, I became a little obsessed. A student bought me an Ursula mug from Disney World because I talked about her so much (doesn't hurt that Ursula is purple, one of my favorite colors *purple, green, and black*). Another student brought me a stuffed Ursula doll. I loved it so much, I took it to Europe with me (I would have posted a picture if my external hard drive didn't break-- might be able to find one on my PC, though) and lost her in Rome after we viewed the Vatican & the Sistine Chapel together. I miss my little buddy. My friend (funny, the number of ex-students I have that I count as friends) made me an Ursula shirt for another Biggest Loser audition with the word Ursula on the back and the shell necklace right beneath it. My current students are making customized class shirts and I bought one. They're putting something similar to the other shirt on the back of that one.
